I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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