if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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