Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
