I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
