Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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