The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
