dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
