Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Fuck appropriateness.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
They took my balls.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
