This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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