i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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