I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
