non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
