I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
