do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
