Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize