I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
