There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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