Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
