i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
