Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
