so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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