How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
