Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
