i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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