I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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