Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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