i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We smell like vodka and hangover
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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