Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
And then he peed in my hair
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