"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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