Life is so much better after having sex.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
