Grow some girl-balls and come out already
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
