This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
