Can i not drive my cunt home
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I could fuck to npr.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
