I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
