He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
did you just send me my own nude
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
