please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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