I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
