He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
