This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
