he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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