The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
