We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
