I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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