you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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