i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
