My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
where are my eyebrows?
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