I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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