if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize