no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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