So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
