Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
