Ambien. No doubt about it.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He better not be in your backpack
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize