My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
