Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
