So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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