he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
