It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Let's paint friendship bongs
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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