Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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