Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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