Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
