i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
