Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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