At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
