It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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