after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
