Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize