i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
